I'm Moving!!!

Dear Readers, and you are so very dear to me....

I have come to the end of my road with blogger- I am having troubles with this site, mostly the not being able to make comments on other peoples blogs...and I have heard so many great things about wordpress- so I am moving! 

My new address is bloomandglow.wordpress.com

I sure hope you will continue to visit me there!!

Checking in.

Many levels of transformation are taking place in my life right now.  I am elated, blissful, inspired and feeling so strong and ready for the serious work of the active summer ahead.  Right now my Goddess School had gone from a sweet extracurricular novelty to full blown inner revolution.  I've struck a vein of gold. 

My hoop dance class is a dream come true, the momentum is building as I am seeing the need for a community to gather in their hoops as a great one.  My girlfriends are experiencing a way to bond that is healthy and in celebration of the bliss and wisdom of their souls.  As we hoop we honor the magnificence of our bodies, hone the power of our spirits, we express our emotions together.  It is nothing less than magic that happens when we hoop together. 

I am also taking a bellydancing/ yoga fusion class.  Both practices are ancient and beautiful, revitalizing and its so nice to have one more night out a week where I am a woman; not a mother, not a house keeper.

I haven't been blogging- and maybe this post isn't really a "blog" post per se.  But I wanted to check in here and I don't know where to start because so much is going on.  Life is so rich at the moment.  This week I am looking forward to playing non-stop with my little Cora Snow ball beany-bo, to finishing baby knitted dress #2, dancing(a lot),  more crystal writing, Music Together class, cooking some Indian food, making laundry detergent and facial cleanser, mowing my lawn with my brand new old fashioned non motorized lawnmower, turning compost, hoop class, bellydancing, and of course Goddess School artwork.  Whew.  I'm sure I'll dig up a few more delicious soul treats while I'm at it.  My propencity for following my bliss has earned me the nickname "Micheal Scott"  from my husband (if any of you watch "The Office")  But I accept my approach, and I am definitely happiest with a full plate and with taking a big old bite that I can barely chew. 

I want to leave with an experpt from an awesome book I am reading called "Buddhism for Mothers of Small Children" by Sarah Napthali.  Now I am not Buddhist or anything.  I honor all religions, I honor Truth, and Love.  And Jesus has got my back on that one.  So....

"Each time we practice clear seeing of the present, without clinging or aversion, whenever we practice patient acceptance, gratitude or compassion, we strengthen a habit and from there we begin to recreate our character and our destiny." 

That one struck me today.  So I flow down this fast moving tide of my springtime life, witnessing with eyes wide open,  allowing with great big gratitude, and playing like its my last day on Earth. 

If you are reading this I am so very very grateful :)

Blooming Expression of Mother Earth

Each year the rapid green booming and blooming of spring (most welcome by me) brings with it a grim reality; yard maintenance.  And with yard maintenance, the subsequent reality of war waged upon the earth around our homes.   

Now I have no problem with yard maintenance per se.  Per se.  I understand needing to remove certain plants from an area to cultivate other certain plants.  However, I wonder about the logic behind using perfectly good water to water a lawn of perfectly useless grass that one is going to have to use perfectly good time and energy(as in gas, as in oil) to mow down, only to have to water again and mow it down yet again.

I wonder about the logic behind spewing poisons all over the earth surrounding and supporting ones home, especially when the plants that are being poisoned over and over again are so very much more useful than that field of very useless and not that good looking grass. 

I marvel at the persistence of Mother Earth marching forth with her thriving expression, subjecting her beautiful green children to be met with poisons and blades over and over again.  She comes back willingly, expressively speaking that big green Mama voice.  She continues to speak through the cracks in our cement, to thrive in gravel beds where her green is quieted routinely.

I adore this moment in spring, when my yard has yet to be mowed, and I get to witness what it is that the great green Mama wants to be here right now in my little patch of Earth.  I tolerate the tension that my overgrown yard creates between me and my neighbors.  How can explain that I love those plants that they call weeds just as much and they love their little bucket of poison that they use to water their gravel with?  

 

The oh so familiar dandelion plant, its leaves and flowers are edible and delicious is salads, they contain more vitamins and minerals than spinach, or any other dark leafy green one could buy.  The root is a powerful strengthening tonic especially for the liver and kidneys.  Its many uses are celebrated by herbalists,  its mere presence agitates the weekend gardener.  

Me and Cora think they are beautiful.

Comments.

I am experiencing an unbelievably frustrating situation with Blogger.  I am unable to comment on any blogger account.  I can comment on other blogs, just not blogger ones.  Not even my own.  Help!  THis is driving me crazy and I just may have to switch to another blog thingy.

Better pictures :)

It's DONE!!!

I finally finished her dress.

I learned in this project that I love knitting.

I also learned how to purl, knit ribbing, knit in the round. All kinds of skills really.

Did I mention that I LOVE knitting.

I finally finished this last night way past my bedtime, and I promptly began another washcloth. You know cuz we need one.

oops- there's a thread I forgot to clip!

(Taking a big chance here :)

These days at the grocery store.

I used to go to the grocery store and hop out of my car carrying my keys, with a card or cash in my pocket, carelessly swing the door shut behind me and skip along on my errand.

These days, I park, strap on my baby carrier, check my wallet, make sure I have my list, and my eco-friendly reusable shopping bags filled with reused plastic produce bags, make sure there is a sippy cup- somewhere. I decide to leave my purse in the car and just take the wallet because I am already packing more than I can carry and I have yet to get the second half of my load out of the car. I get out of the front and hop into the back seat. I put Cora's socks and shoes back on her because for some reason she takes them off every time we go for a drive and for some reason I continue to put them on her before we go somewhere. I get her out of the car, and make it across the parking lot to the shopping carts, only to realize that I forgot my list in my purse that I decided not to bring with me cause I thought that would be easier. I go back and get it.

Finally, I make it inside the grocery store.

I used to pop around the store with a little basket, gazing at prices doing the math, smelling produce, dreaming of the epic meals I was going to make my man for dinner.

These days I navigate the aisles with my big ol shopping cart, keeping my little one entertained so she doesn't jump out of her little seat. With bananas and silly faces, we try not to cause traffic jams in the produce section. I check my list and throw things (quickly!) in the cart before Cora is over it. I endure sympathetic glances when she is over it and has decided she would like out of the cart RIGHT NOW or she will scream. I wrestle a thrashing baby-toddler in her very first grocery store store fit, and praise god that I had the foresight to strap her baby carrier to me before this went down. I find a private section and get her settled in next to me- to my body, her first home, so our hearts and our breaths can come together in calm, I breathe and pop that piece of magic given to mommies that must have been designed specifically for grocery store fits because it works no matter what. Seriously, 100% of the time it works.

I navigate the rest of my trip with my baby-toddler strapped into Mommy bliss. I move fast because (her) time is running short. I pray for a quick line at the check out and a kind (and quick) check out person.

We get out, we make it out alive and well. I haul my reusable eco friendly grocery bags full of groceries and get them to the car. I think, gee, going to the grocery store used to be such a different experience.

But its all so worth it.

Jealousy

That title got you wondering huh?
I just ran across this piece of brilliance. It would have been downright selfish of me not to share it with you. I can't figure out how to smoothly link it to a word so y'all will just have to cut and paste it in you browser. Get ready to evolve.

http://creativethursday.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/03/so-jealous.html

Goddess School- Week 1

This week kicked off week one of my Creative Goddess E-course.

It began with a pretty powerful guided meditation, involving a meadow, a mountain, a boulder in the path, a future Amanda wise woman, love showering, *ruby* gifting goodness. All in all it was a special, soulful journey. (not to mention that any time spent alone, breathing deep is pretty special for any Mama)

It continued with a walk, in the hands of serendipity and the Great Spirit. I brought my favorite walking companion, Gypsy Sunshine. It rained on us which was sensational. How often do we have that experience!? The purpose of our walk was to gather whatever lay in our path for a wild art making experience.

Then there came the wild art making experience. And luckily I took pictures!
Our little art station, and my favorite painting companion.

Here are some gathered materials, somehow they were all mostly blue/ turquoise. I let that guide the paint color choices and worked big goops of paint with my fingers, with sticks, toothbrushes, fabric, bits of this and that. Just crazy fun!
We had explicit instructions to do some smearing in the grass. So that's what this is a picture of.

This is the painting after getting a rub down on the lawn.
This is my painted lawn :) For some reason I love the thoughts of my neighbors wondering- what on earth is that kooky woman doing!

And this is the final product. I can't say its my favorite painting I have ever seen (or made for that matter) But I resolved before hand to love it unconditionally, because that was the point of this experience. It is a relinquishing of control of the product over to process. To create in the spirit of fun, spontaneity, of acceptance and that is where real magic in creating happens, in wild reckless abandon.

My Miyagi

About 30 seconds after this picture was taken I unraveled this little future garment- a good four hours worth of work. It will be a baby summer dress, someday but at this moment it was missing a strap. See this wasn't the first time I have gotten along in the project a little ways and then balled the yarn back up. For this particular project its about the tenth. But I am learning to knit from a vague pattern and a copy of the book "Stitch and Bitch." And this is my first project more complicated than a washcloth.

The funny thing is that I almost didn't mind it!! I LOVE knitting. The act of knitting is sensational. It is soothing, rhythmic and meditative. I can pick it up for a few seconds which is often how long I have to devote to a creative act, and I can put it down just like that. It will wait for me, there is no mess to clean up or put away. I can do it in the car (while Todd's driving) on the couch, or in the bathtub! (yes last night I knit in the bathtub so Todd could put the baby to sleep. lol)

I am learning patience and mindfulness. I am developing a HUGE appreciation for just how much work goes into making clothes.

But mostly I am learning patience.

On a side note. My first hoop dance class is tonight- Wish me luck! I have been preparing this week. I think it should be a blast- even if I am the only one who shows up. Just kidding there will be at least one other person for sure. Fun either way right?!

My Father was in town this week, we had a wonderful time wining and dining, couch shopping, cruising through the redwoods, and hiking in the mountains. Lovely and blessed.

AND Goddess School has started (yesterday). I am totally in love with this woman who developed the course. and She gave birth to a dear sweet baby this week. All in all this is a BIG week for everyone I think!!

Hoop Love (or Why I Hoop)

If music is the universal language, then dance is the universal response, the cosmic ear of listening deeply, nodding with the rhythm of our bodies.

My own experience of dancing didn't blossom until I found the hoop. My time dancing was few and far between. When I was a girl I took a couple of dance classes. And once I was older I would dance out in a club. There was usually alcohol involved in loosening up and letting some inhibitions go. I never thought I was a good dancer. And sadly, I secretly, desperately wanted to be a good dancer. The problem was that I was completely convinced that I didn't have rhythm. And I thought that rhythm was one of those golden nuggets only bestowed upon a certain lucky few, just like talent. I have learned too late in life that having a "talent" for something means nothing. A person only becomes good at something with practice, time and commitment. Passion is what drives this. But that is really a whole other blog post. I also learned that all humans have rhythm. It is a language, and it is taught to us by our community, it is a language that communicates the story of our collective soul and I believe that this is why I craved so badly to be a part of it.

When I first found the hoop, I discovered the gentle rocking rhythm to be soothing, like ocean waves. My body became engaged in dance in a way that I had yet to give myself permission to do outside of it. When set to music I felt sensual- like the hoop had given my body a key to access the world of rhythm. As my practice grew and I became obsessed with hooping(and that is no over statement!) being inside of the hoop became trance inducing, meditative. As I learned more skills and techniques, dancing with my hoop became creative- it was a form of self expression. The hoop was the binding ingredient that connected my body to rhythm and my soul to the bliss found inside of it.

I write this now on the eve of teaching my first hoop dance class. I'm ecstatic. Mostly about the opportunity to share what has been for me a wellspring of healing and well being. I feel so honored that I get to help others discover the perfection of this symbolic dance partner.

For more information on hoop dance check out this great site

Food Could Change The World (of humans)

When I was 19 years old my girlfriend Alli and I stood in the grocery store produce section debating whether or not it was worth the extra cash to buy organic grapes vs. the cheaper non-organic. She was pro organic and challenged me to a taste test. The non-organic grape had a bitter skin and a bland juiciness about it. The organic grape? was divine, sweet, flavorful, it tasted more like a grape than any other grape I had ever encountered in my life. Since that day I strive to buy organic at all costs whenever possible. I have also learned that that are so many more reasons to spend the extra cash other than it is a superior product....(though isn't that reason enough?)

That moment was a turning point for me. I was at the time working a minimum wage job and I really had no business getting extravagant at the grocery store. But I was beginning to realize some truths that hit me in that spot. You know that one, that spot in the core of your being called truth. The biggest truth was...

I love this gorgeous earth, and I am lucky enough to be apart of the generation that learned at an early age that the way that humans are inhabiting this earth is destroying it. We must change the way we live.

This moment at the grocery store was one of my first glimpses into seeing what I could do to make a difference. Pesticides are toxic, linked to neurological disorders, almost completely unregulated (YES THAT'S TRUE!!!) they are demolishing our ecosystems, devastating the populations of thousands of species. They are toxic chemicals that are leaching into our groundwater. And that's not even the bad news. Conventional farming is a whole lot more expensive than organic. So why would organic food be more expensive at the grocery store? The large agriculture companies have great friends in Washington who are subsidising their large polluting, non sustainable agricultural projects. That means our taxes being spent to pollute and destroy our beautiful earth for low quality food. Yuck.

I am so blessed to live in a area where there are an abundance of local organic farms. By buying produce locally (and organically) I am saving thousand of gallons of fuel from being spent on shipping products all over the place. By buying local I am supporting so many people in my community to enjoy sparkling green moments outside in fresh air everyday, working for their dreams of a peaceful life close to the ground, contributing rich colorful healthy, sustainable food. By buying local the food I eat was picked ripe, and is packed with the flavors and spirit that the earth intended for them.

We still do not make a ton of money by most peoples standards, but buying high quality food is one value I our family is just not willing to sacrifice. It has challenged me to seek out different ways of cooking, and different ways of eating in general. I think that two of the most inspirational books on the subject of cooking and eating simply are:

The Art of Simple Cooking by Alice Waters
and
Tassajara Cooking by Edward Espe Brown

Life changing I tell you.

World changing. This is the great power that we all have. The power to live differently. The power to change the world.

Spring is in the Air

Hi there I just thought I would go ahead and check in. My oh my has it been a full week. Full of sunshine, abundance, new teeth, cups of tea outside, crystal cleaning, hoop dreams and a pair of new pants....

Clearly she's thrilled about her new pants. ( I know she's probably just excited to be outside in the woods next to a creek gettin pictures made of her cute self)
And these are my crystals getting a little spring sunshine on the porch. I've been hard at work writing about crystals the past couple of weeks for our shop so you may be hearing a bit more about them soon....
And this is a little water activity(ok its actually just a bowl full of water). outside. In a sundress nonetheless. Last week it was snowing. hmmmm. I won't complain.

And this is where I have not been sitting this week. I really just wanted to show off my new chair cushion fabric. Springy and new.

My Screen- Free Sunday

I have begun to realize that this mind boggling, world transforming powerful tool we call the internet has become too big of a part of my day. I seem to always find reasons to pop my laptop open: I MUST look something up right now, I haven't checked my email for the third time today, something has happened on Facebook I can feel it! Craigslist, blogs!! (which are my very favorite reason to hop onto the information highway really, they are captivating! but lets face it - time consuming) I was very inspired by this blog post. I need to focus my time on the internet, have specific goals, specific to do's and not just meander. So this Sunday I took an official screen free day. I wanted to just experience a rhythm of the day without the internet. I was curious about how much I would think to go to my computer. I only thought about it a gazillion times. But I stayed off of it. And here are some things that happened!



I planted things.....




I sat.
Here...
and here...
And here. I looked up things in books on the porch (instead of on google with my eyes glued to a screen)( and of course I knitted things in these pretty little places throughout my yard...and I'll being showing those in another post.)
I found this gorgeous hand thrown clay pitcher at a yard sale for $1, you know for watering all those new plants I just potted!
I also got to make another batch of my Chamomile Facial Cleanser.....Mmmmmm...

I also finally set up a Bird Sanctuary that I've been dreaming of....pictures to come...

I also finished the day with a solo knitting date, I had the salmon with a glass of wine, thank you very much. Me and Myself then went and had some ice cream too. Being alone has never been such a luxury as it has been in the last year and a half...

I'm shocked by how much more engrossed I could become when I didn't run to the internet everytime it popped up in my head. It reminded me of when I first quit smoking and I realized what an interuption smoking was to whatever it was I was trying to accomplish.

I'm thinking of making this a weekly ritual.....

A Moderately Successful Cracker Endeavor

I say moderately only because it was not entirely successful. See I have had cracker making fantasies dancing in my heart for months now. If I made crackers I would put an end the piles of cracker waste our family was contributing to the landfill once and for all. I would make fresh homemade crackers with fancy organic exotic add ins like hemp seeds and nori....

This venture was successful for 2 reasons:
1. I remembered to take pictures during the mixing (and butter melting) part of it.
2. The baby ate them (!!!!!)

For my first try I thought I would make some easy cheese thins out of a very frustrating albeit informative book called Super Baby Food. I haven't figured out how to link to Amazon yet, and I'm tired tonight, so I'm letting myself off the hook for that one :)




Whole wheat flour...... Oooooh.



Butter melting, on the stove because I have read some scary stuff about microwaves recently.



Adding shredded cheese.... and this is where the moderate part of my successful venture begins.

I forgot to take pictures of these next steps

Good thing to because the recipe reads, "Shape into roll and refrigerate overnight in wax paper. Slice very thin....."

So I shaped the dough into a roll and refrigerated overnight.
The next morning, I hopped out of bed eager to make some crackers and as I attempted to slice very thin my cracker making dreams crumbled, yes, that pun was intended.

I tried slicing thicker and thicker, the dough stayed together if I wanted half inch thick crackers. I ended up smashing the dough with the side of a large butcher knife, gingerly placed the pieces cooperating and staying together and then just baking the crumbs.

I ended up with a few crackers. which tasted pretty good. I ended up with a lot more crumbs which will taste good on top of an ol' casserole or something.
So there ya have it. I just may have to try that again.....

Aaaah Soup.

Tonight we relaxed into the warm embrace of a big ol pot of Potato Leek Soup. Is there a greater comfort than that of a thick, hearty, nutritious, delicious, steamy bowl of soup, gobbled up to the sounds of light spring rain pitter pattering away on the roof? (not to mention the splendor of cooking dinner in only one pot)
and the only thing that could make this even better?

A heaping spoonful of this smile to go with it.

Shine on.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?"

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us.

And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

This quote was waiting for me in my inbox this morning. I bawled- because it touched that tender little spot called truth in the center of my being, because I have been shrinking in ways for so long and because I know that now is the time to bloom. So in the face of intimidation I am going to do the only thing that could possibly help me. I am going to pray. Pray and take small tiny action.

Sticking to it. :)

Ok. Now that I got that last post off my chest and out into the light of day I feel better, like I can just keep on moving even if insecurity and self doubt decide they want to come along. I'll welcome those two- I'll feed them love and understanding and they'll grow strong and healthy and maybe one day they will turn into useful allies. They could grow up to become perseverance and freedom. Like two little stray animals really only in need of some tenderness and compassion. They could become my pillars of strength. That is the payoff of sticking to it.

Working Through Discouragement

I have been very discouraged about blogging this week. We have all been sick. Its the end of winter and there is just that gloomy end of winter funk around this house, inside my heart.(In the world of a Cancerian house=heart) I torment myself with all sorts of mean things in this very critical and imaginative little brain of mine.

Why bother?
I have no idea what I'm doing.
There are a million other very professional, computer savvy, and brilliant people out there blogging.
My pictures are stupid.
Everything I do is stupid.
See? even my self criticism is ridiculous.
Who am I to tell the world anything about anything?

Well. I am going to bet that I am not the only person who has these thoughts sometimes. I read a quote the other day that went something along the lines of.... "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the in the facing it and doing what one must do anyway" I'm paraphrasing.
So even though right now I feel vulnerable, petty, over dramatic, I feel its important that I keep showing up to this page. this is a goal I have made for myself. I won't always feel like this. Someday soon I will feel bold, and inspired and proud. I want to have this place to come back to, and not as a neglected untended garden but as a place that I showed up to and kept in touch with for better or worse. Kinda like marriage:) or mothering for that matter.

So here I am blog land. You're stuck with me.

Back to School Time

Not that kind of school.

Goddess School.

What?!

I enrolled in the Creative Goddess E-course.

http://www.goddessguidebook.com/courses/creative-goddess-course/

It was an impulsive descision, kind of, I have been talking a lot lately about how I want to take some sort of class, something to somewhat formalize, enhance, or shape the creative work I'm doing. I have been looking high and low around my town- at the colleges, art centers, bulletin boards, you name it and nothing has struck me. Until this! I'm wanting a way to work toward a freer expression- an authentic and juicy life! I want a clear channel and a loud unapologetic voice. And I love this giddy woman and her colorful website.
So I signed up!!!

I'm going back to school. To Goddess School :)

What Did I Do Right Today?

Some of us live in a perpetual state of self criticism. (Me) It seems that sometimes I simply cannot get my mind off of what I should have done, should do later, didn't do well enough, ect. ect....

This is not good!

I was talking to a friend yesterday. One of those good old friends that knows me so well she can always hear straight through my "I'm doing good" when I'm not. And she had a wonderful little anecdote to the negative self talk reel playing over and over....

She said that sometimes at night before she goes to bed she asks herself "What did I do right today?"
And usually the list consists of things like, I vacuumed, I took care of my animals, I did my dishes, I payed that bill, I ate well, drank water. You know the things its so easy to overlook. The things that we don't realize contribute an incredible amount of peace and well- being to our days, to our families, our communities, our world!

So, today I'm asking myself,

What am I doing right?

Rest and Relaxation

I am not very good at resting- I mean just stopping completely and really doing nothing. However, sometimes it is simply forced upon you. And it was me this week. I drank some bad water- the long and short of it. And have spent the last 2 days 'recovering'. Not the way I would have preferred a mandatory resting period to have taken place, but I can see now it has been benificial to my head space. In that quiet time doing nothing I have gained an opportunity of a wider perspective on our daily lives, things I love, things I'd love to change. Or maybe I'm just desperately seeking a silver lining in a horrible experience. Either way, I'm feeling better now. Grateful for it too.

Me Gettin' Spoilt

More knitting. More wash cloths?! My bathroom was jealous of my kitchen. So of course it must have some new wash cloths too huh?

This was a nice Sunday, a walk in the woods. Some time on the porch. A family trip to the park. I forgot to pull out the camera but if I had the pictures would have looked something like this:
Cora running around yelling "NO!" at everything and everyone.
Todd, exasperated, chasing after her.
Me, letting him. and knitting and hoola hooping :) My hunny's been awfully good to me lately.

What a Man

I must take a moment here to brag on my husband. Remember last nights mess? Well I didn't get a great nights sleep. I usually don't, that is just how it is with a baby around. this morning Todd took her to the living room to play so I could get another hour of sleep, and what do you know?! Those toys were picked up! The counters were wiped!!! The baby had been fed breakfast!!!
Ok that's all. I had to give my man some extra props today. What a man.

Embracing/Boycotting the Mess

For tonight, I spare you a picture. Right now I am wholeheartedly accepting a big fat mess in this house. This mess is the result, or rather the byproduct of a whole lotta good living around here. I've been spending mornings working at our shop, afternoons playing with the snuggle buggy baby boo while she's still a baby. I'm told it all goes so fast, so whats a few (dozen) toys scattered around the floor? Whats a few loads of laundry and messy counter tops? Tonight Todd is out hopefully drinking beer and having a good time. As for me? I find myself in a quiet, albeit messy, house tinkering away at a few projects- having my own little party. Basking in luxury of giving myself full permission to just let it go......
I may regret this in the morning when I wake up to total chaos. But luckily I have this blog post to remind myself how I got into this mess :)

Current...See

Here are a few current happenings in our lives. I made a bright blue collar, or cowl, or neck wrap, whatever you like to call it:)



Me and Cora have been spending an awful lot of time in the yard- me turning the compost pile, hoping to make some good dirt in time for spring planting. I'm realizing that my time is running out and I may have to move these piles of leaves from our beds and enrich the soil other ways. Mighty proud of myself for doing anything in the yard while keeping an eye on my little sugar plum here.

Enjoy an evening tickling/ wrestleing match. Dada vs. Coco Snosno. My kinda entertainment. :)

The 4 O'clock Drop

I'm noticing a pattern happening in my days. I've been noticing it for a good long time actually. Every day around 4 o'clock several things happen:

-My energy level goes from 10 to zero.

-the baby suddenly forgets that she learned how to walk- a few weeks ago.

-there is nothing of interest in the house to her. Not one toy or activity is of any interest(except for me).

-I need to make dinner. (and have not yet cleaned up from lunch, or breakfast for that matter)

-Clutter is scattered on every surface throughout the house. Toys, mail, remnants of errands, it looks as though I have been doing nothing all day.

-Sometimes I even find myself knee deep in some type of over ambitious (and messy) reorganizing/crafting/kitchen project and there is no way I'll get out of it and make dinner and clean the house in time for my Dearest to get home.

I usually end up struggling through those last couple of hours, beating myself up for not being more "on top of it" So I have been brainstorming some solutions to this 4 o'clock Drop.

-Drink some tea. There must be a reason that other cultures have time in their day called Tea Time. Many have siesta- this is a time to relax. Our culture says drink some Red Bull and barrel through it- there's money to be made!

-Close my eyes and breathe just for a moment.(except of course those eyes in the back of my head that grew when I had Cora) I'm not good at this relaxing stuff. I haven't had but 3 naps in my whole life. I want to DO something.

-Recruit the dog. Why hadn't I thought of this before?! Gypsy the dog can buy me at least 15 minuets. More than enough time to get dinner started and get the kitchen semi in order.

-Remember that we are no longer living in the 50's and Betty and June are not down the street gossiping about my dirty floor. and now that the baby walks instead of crawls-her knees and hands are no longer a dead giveaway to anyone paying close attention!

-Cassaroles and Crockpots! Make dinner in the morning when I think I have the energy to take on the whole world. This will require a bit of planning- its annoying how sometimes it takes more effort and planning to make something easier. But that's just the way it is.

We'll see how this works. I am going to make a conscious effort to anticipate this drop in energy and head it off at the pass. I'm welcoming any suggestions. :)

Warm Hands

Well, I've been working on the simplest of knitting projects, a pair of hand cozies- that are really just 2 rectangles sewed up the side with a hole for a thumb. I started these last week and thought they would have been finished in an evening. But, I started them and took them apart about five times- each. I even finished each one only to realize they were the wrong size and once again took them apart. But halleluha! they are done and my hands are warm! They are perfect for holding babies and mugs of tea:)
And here is my knitting future....

A Bath Garden

I have not one but two projects to share with you. But they will have to wait because today I must write about the loveliest of gifts given to me.
After two weeks of flying solo, Todd treated me to a luxurious day of wellness. I got to go to Chozu Bath Garden for an afternoon of soaking in warm pools, sweating in saunas, and wrapping it all up with a deep tissue massage. What a man. What a day.
One would think that by simply entering such a space, filled with water fountains, a japanese inspired landscape, and total serentiy, that I would have collapsed into bliss immediately and never returned. But no, I tell you it required a great deal of effort to turn off the chatterbox in my head and give my heart and my body center stage. I did my best to turn off the grocery list making, to do list making, blog writing,(I'm just excited by it is all)- and boy oh boy did it do me a world of good. In fact it showed me just how much I am going to need to practice this winding down a little bit more frequently than I normally get to.
So what did I do instead of write my to do lists?(cause lord knows I must be doing something at all times)
I prayed.
I prayed thank you for the richly blessed life that I get to live. I prayed thank you for the health care I was given the opportunity to experience this day. I prayed thank you for living at a time when so much transformation is taking place in the human conciousness. I prayed for my loving husband who provides and nurtures our family. I prayed thank you for my daughter, for her health and well being, and for the way that getting to take care of her makes me a bigger and better woman than I knew myself to be. I prayed thank you for the strength that has always been given to me whenever I have needed it. I prayed for the strength to heal those matters that still lingered....
I thought about what a powerful experience it is to simply be with oneself with that intention- the intention to heal. I've been realizing in my daily life how the small rituals I do everyday to care for my body count so dearly. Rarely do I get but 10 or 15 minuets to groom, so its definitely not the quantity but the quality of that time that counts. I thought about how I intend to be more mindful, and more relaxed with the time I do get. I thought about how I have the chance to care for my body throughout the day in so many ways no matter how busy. Every meal, every walk. I thought about how this is the true meaning of health care. Ritual care of ones self. (and of course I thought *easier said than done* for sure- but what is life if not a work in progress?)
I feel relaxed, and grateful. (and deserving:))
Anyways I must run for I have a photo shoot to conduct for tomorrows post...........

"Women of Earth Take Back Your Birth"

Now I know that my blog is all over the place right now. I don't really know what the focus is yet. I do know that I am using it as a creative tool- a tool for searching, searching for what it is that I truely want to do. So at the risk of being random, again, I was inspired to write a poem.
I gave birth last year, my experience was one of the biggest most profound events of my life. Im sure it is that way for everyone. But i am not just talking of having a baby- I am speaking of the actual birthing experience itself. I had my baby at home naturally and I have always wanted to write about it. I never really knew how to go about it. Then I was directed to these poems and was inspired by their format and style. So I decided to give it a go.
Now I haven't written a poem since the age of 10 so forgive the very elementary poetry. But it did the job and I'm happy to have finally said on paper what has been on my mind and heart for over a year now.

Born a Mother

a quiet sleepless night, as usual
waiting
a splash, unusual
it's time.

The midwife is here,
everything is fine,

Relax
Surrender

Hours pass
the waves are soft,
crashing in the distance
coming to take us
on our journey ahead.

The waves grow
they are strong
Stronger than I think myself to be
"Call on the Strength of your Ancestor Grandmothers!"
and thier light is surrounding me.

The waves are crashing now
I Surrender
Willingly
They take me with thunder
to places I didn't know reside inside of me.

I grow and go deeper
thrashing to the place of infinity
There I find her
My little light, my guide
I find her in the place where the strongest part of me resides
We dance and she leads
I open my soul completely.

Surrendering, Willingly

and in one instant
she slips through
born to light
and I am born a Mother
Now knowing the strongest part of me.

As She Wishes

As much as I have cherished every bit of this baby time that I know will be short lived there are certain phases that I am so looking forward to. One of them is Cora having preferences in what she is wearing. I absolutely love it when I see a little elmo or fireman/princess walking around. What a beautiful way to get to express ones self. I have been so excited to see what Cora will come up with and who she wants to be. For the past couple of days Cora has found some item of my clothing and put a strap around her neck. Finally it dawned on me- my baby is accessorizing!!! I did not expect this so soon. Today Cora chose to adorn herself in my tank shirt that I sleep in last night. never mind that she got it out of the laundry and its not exactly the, um, most practical playground accessory, I decided she should get to wear it if she wants. I'll stand by it proudly:)

Another Link in The Chain

Wow. Its been a good long time since I have posted. I'm not going to beat myself up about that- though I'm sure there is a part of me that may try. I'm here now. I'm absolutely gushing about a comment left on my last post and feeling so very encouraged to keep at this blog for what its worth. :) I'm also back from a very refreshing visit to Arizona for a visit with my Grandparents and for the Tuscon Gem and Mineral Show. Clearly I have a lot to write about.
Since having a baby I have thought about tradition and ancestry so much more than I ever have in my life. Since wanting to change the way I live I have thought so much more about the way things used to be done. My Grandma is in the process of planning a family reunion this year so these subjects came up a lot during our visit. My Grandma is the youngest of her family and she has already lost siblings. Ours is the sort of family (like many these days) that is sprawled out all over the land. We are lucky to come together here and there for special occasions. Basically we do not have very many opportunities for passing down family traditions. And until recently I did not even realize that I cared about that. I now find myself wanting a way of life that looks more like the lives of these women who came before me.
So while we were visiting my Grandma and I made good use of our time together and she showed me my very first knitting pattern. A dish cloth, taught to her by her Mother. This is a precious thing to me that while I wash dishes everyday I will remember our visit. Stitched into this little cloth is the stories she told me, the encouragement she gave me, the homemade noodle soup she made us, the peanut butter cake, and the pitter patter of little Cora marching around the house telling Pepe the dog "No!" It's just a dish cloth. But what a precious dish cloth it is to me. And how wonderful is it that I will never again for as long as I live ever have to buy a dish cloth?! That is a gift that keeps on giving.

Dish Cloth

One skein of cotton yarn -worsted weight
#7 knitting needles

Cast on 4 stitches
Knit 2 rows
Knit 2, yarn over, knit to the end of the row
repeat to 40 stitches

Knit 1, knit 2 together yarn over knit to together knit to the end of the row
repeat to 6 stitches
decrease to 3 stitches
Bind off

A New Old Paradigm

Our dryer broke. So I am taking this opportunity to give hanging laundry to dry a try. It has slowed me down considerably. I am finding out that this is not nesasarily a bad thing. Before I would shovel piles of clothes from one machine to the next and end up with mountains of laundry to fold and then put away. LAundry was always bulky and overwhelming. I think a lot of clothes that weren't even dirty would get tossed into the piles of dirty because it didn't seem like a big deal to have just one more thing in a load. But now, laundry is less about loads and more about items. Now that I have to shake and hang each item , each item becomes more valuable somehow- more cared for because I have the responsibilty of taking care of it. I think twice before throwing things into the laundry pile. I feel in touch with the week of clothes that as I remember the precious moment our family spent using these clothes. Our clothes will last longer. And I actually kind a like the crisp feeling of fabric air dried. I can't promise that I will always air dry all of my clothes. But I appricate the pace of this much more.
One of my goals this January is to move further in the direction of stewardship. Consume less, conserve more. I want to teach my baby girl to take care of what she has. Her clothes, toys, books, water, this earth. I grew up with a disposable mindset. We literally got rid of things simply because we had had them for a while and were ready for something new. In fact as a society it has been drilled into our brains that we must. But no more. I am now striving to live to honor the things in my life. I am thinking long and hard before buying things. I don't buy the cheapest one anymore. I buy the one that can fullfill its purpose the longest. I have finally realized that if I buy a can opener I would rather spend 3x as much on one that could last forever than the cheap one that is made with the intent that it break quickly so I will have to buy another. To me, at this point in time, that mindset is simply unacceptable.
I want to spend less time in stores. More time at home. Less time taking out the trash, more time taking out the compost in my backyard. It would be great to let the drive for needing to get rid of things turn into what other purpose could this be used for. We are not what we buy.

Homeade Skincare

• I have taken a bit of a blogging pause- a hesitation really. I have been wondering exactly what Im doing this for - who my "audience" is. I think I'm really making this blog so that I can record what Im up to- to keep a log. My friend suggested that I write this like I'm writing to a good friend- one who is listening with unconditional love and acceptance. I thought that was very good advice. So somehow I turned this paragraph blue and underlined and bulleted it. I have no idea how I did it or how to undo it. So there ya go.
  

Anyway, I got an amazingly inspiring book for Christmas this year- Organic Body Care Recipes by Stephanie Tourles. I made the Aloe and Calendula CLeansing Cream, only I used chammomile because that's what I had. It is delicious and I swear my skin looks smoother and more supple- as promised :) The only thing is that it lasts for 30 days so that means it need to be remade once a month. So we'll see, it may be just a special treat.
Oh and that's my lady love crystal that sits on the windowsill above my kitchen sink. Isn't she gorgeous!