Sunday, January 24, 2010
Our dryer broke. So I am taking this opportunity to give hanging laundry to dry a try. It has slowed me down considerably. I am finding out that this is not nesasarily a bad thing. Before I would shovel piles of clothes from one machine to the next and end up with mountains of laundry to fold and then put away. LAundry was always bulky and overwhelming. I think a lot of clothes that weren't even dirty would get tossed into the piles of dirty because it didn't seem like a big deal to have just one more thing in a load. But now, laundry is less about loads and more about items. Now that I have to shake and hang each item , each item becomes more valuable somehow- more cared for because I have the responsibilty of taking care of it. I think twice before throwing things into the laundry pile. I feel in touch with the week of clothes that as I remember the precious moment our family spent using these clothes. Our clothes will last longer. And I actually kind a like the crisp feeling of fabric air dried. I can't promise that I will always air dry all of my clothes. But I appricate the pace of this much more.
One of my goals this January is to move further in the direction of stewardship. Consume less, conserve more. I want to teach my baby girl to take care of what she has. Her clothes, toys, books, water, this earth. I grew up with a disposable mindset. We literally got rid of things simply because we had had them for a while and were ready for something new. In fact as a society it has been drilled into our brains that we must. But no more. I am now striving to live to honor the things in my life. I am thinking long and hard before buying things. I don't buy the cheapest one anymore. I buy the one that can fullfill its purpose the longest. I have finally realized that if I buy a can opener I would rather spend 3x as much on one that could last forever than the cheap one that is made with the intent that it break quickly so I will have to buy another. To me, at this point in time, that mindset is simply unacceptable.
I want to spend less time in stores. More time at home. Less time taking out the trash, more time taking out the compost in my backyard. It would be great to let the drive for needing to get rid of things turn into what other purpose could this be used for. We are not what we buy.
at 8:48 PM
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
- I have taken a bit of a blogging pause- a hesitation really. I have been wondering exactly what Im doing this for - who my "audience" is. I think I'm really making this blog so that I can record what Im up to- to keep a log. My friend suggested that I write this like I'm writing to a good friend- one who is listening with unconditional love and acceptance. I thought that was very good advice. So somehow I turned this paragraph blue and underlined and bulleted it. I have no idea how I did it or how to undo it. So there ya go.
Anyway, I got an amazingly inspiring book for Christmas this year- Organic Body Care Recipes by Stephanie Tourles. I made the Aloe and Calendula CLeansing Cream, only I used chammomile because that's what I had. It is delicious and I swear my skin looks smoother and more supple- as promised :) The only thing is that it lasts for 30 days so that means it need to be remade once a month. So we'll see, it may be just a special treat.
Oh and that's my lady love crystal that sits on the windowsill above my kitchen sink. Isn't she gorgeous!
at 3:12 PM
Monday, January 18, 2010
My studio is waking up!!! I finally got the chance to tidy up a bit and take some pictures. I hung a wall that I call ghosts of paintings past. I think its interesting to have a collection of our old work in there. I'm thinking that seeing the past there will help me understand where I am to better see where I'm going.
I even got a chance to start a couple of projects too...
Its very easy to love someone when they have done something nice for you or are being in any way love-able. Not so easy to love someone when I haven't had some "me" time in days. Like a trip out of the house alone or time in the house alone. Times when my edges are stretched to the very limits and I feel like I wanna burst. Any Mother knows these times- I imagine. Just as we all know those times when our child is practicing giving kisses or lays her sweet little head onto you chest. These sweet moments make all this fuss worth it. they are the sparkling green summer breeze days that make life. But we do not nessesarily grow in these moments.
Its not so easy to love when I don't see the sparkling green filtered sunshine tickling the world. Its not as easy to love when I have to. When I really want to not have to right now. When I just want to curl up on the floor like a little egg and pout like a baby and be left alone. But that is what mothering is. Making lunch when I have spent way too much time in the kitchen. Patiently nursing a squirmy tired little angel baby while she drifts off to sleep even though I don't want anyone touching me right now.
It has stretched my very limits, expanded my edges further and bigger that I would have ever believed myself capable. It has required of me depths of patience and self control I couldn't have known were there withing me in any other way.
I hate it when I loose it. When I let my emotions have my control for a moment. I realize now that what I am loosing is the opportunity to gain a moment of strength. I would be a bigger and better me. So I suppose I can thank all those in my life who have made things ,ahem, difficult. After all it seems the more difficult relationships are the most rewarding ones as well.
at 1:39 PM
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Its amazing the affect that we can have on each other- I went to yoga this morning- and was feeling pretty great afterwards only to come home to find out that a friend of the family hurt himself quite badly last night. He is not somebody that me or my husband know- yet we both have a giant heavy feeling of sadness hanging over our home right now. Im sure that this man had no idea that when he did this that his sadness and pain would spread clear accross the USA and dampen the hearts of those he never met. But it has.
I think about a time when people lived in close community with each other how they had the strength of the entire community to come together and support somebody in a rough time. I wish now I could somehow come up with a community to surround this man in love and let him no that that love cannot falter- its his no matter what he does. That is the kind of world I'd like to live in.